


Muppetstein; or, The Modern Prometheus

by 3dnygma



Category: Frankenstein - Mary Shelley, The Muppets - All Media Types
Genre: Comedy, Gen, References to Frankenstein, studio set
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-07-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:21:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25423792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/3dnygma/pseuds/3dnygma
Summary: The Muppets are producing their latest adaptation of a beloved classic! (with varying success)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	Muppetstein; or, The Modern Prometheus

It had been hours since a soul had wandered through the rainy streets of Ingolstadt. Yet, at midnight, there seemed to be something particularly eerie about the German city. Perhaps such was the case because of one particular building that was inhabited by no other than the aspiring natural sciences student Victor Frankenstein.

Inside of the small student apartment his work was finally coming to a close. The long-nosed, purple scientist had spent weeks, months even, gathering body parts and conducting experiment after experiment. Much like Sisyphus, each failure had set him back for several days. But now he could confidently say that the metaphorical boulder had at last reached the top of the stairs.

His creature was finally complete – alive!

Once his work was finished, the amalgamation rose up from its final point of rest. The creature towered over Frankenstein’s small frame and looking upon the monster’s display suddenly filled Victor with dread. It was evident that the creature’s skin was of a green hue and, although its body consisted of scraps from various corpses, one could not deny that the monster’s overall appearance was of a rather…amphibian nature.

Seeing the creature move around with such immense force caused Frankenstein to scream in terror. He had expected the creature’s movements to be slow, gracious. But alas, its movements were sporadic and marked by utter panic and confusion. The monster’s movements did not feel human – truly, nothing about it did. How had Victor ever looked at this horrendous frame and considered it “beautiful”?

It was at this exact moment that Frankenstein realized what terrible fate his hubris had brought upon him. His professors, Dr. Waldorf and Dr. Statler, had warned him of the dangers that came if one chose to toy with human life. And yet, he was too invested in his work – too foolish – to pay those warnings any second thought! Oh, how wrong he had been!

Victor’s body felt completely frozen by shock, leaving him unable to run away. Finally, the creature had fully approached its creator and opened its mouth to utter its first words, that being – 

“T’is I, Frankenstein’s monstrous, yet stunningly beautiful bride!” a pink creature with a big snout suddenly squealed.

“CUT!”

The studio lights dimmed and Scooter, the feature’s director, let out a quiet sigh. And here he had been, thinking that this would be the final take.

Meanwhile, Miss Piggy seemed to be utterly confused as to why her brief performance had caused the production to come to a suddenly stop. From her point of view, everything had been perfect. Her white coat, the iconic black and white wig, her grandiose entrance….what was there not to love?

“Miss Piggy...ehm…” No other than Victor Frankenstein himself – or rather, Gonzo – exclaimed. “I don’t mean to be rude but…what exactly are you doing here?”

Miss Piggy scoffed. “Well, isn’t it obvious that I’m making my grand debut as Frankenstein’s bride?”

Gonzo was left baffled by her reply. Unanimously, the entire crew directed their eyes towards Kermit. One would think that, as the director, Scooter should be the one to approach Piggy. But in reality, it was no surprise that everybody waited for the frog to intervene.

Kermit quickly got down from the stool that made him appear taller than Gonzo and walked up to Piggy. However, he did keep on the Monster’s wig and oversized jacket. Who knew, maybe they would be able to return to this scene in no time!

When he reached Miss Piggy, Kermit made sure to choose his words wisely.

“Piggy….you look great in that costume…but, you know…Frankenstein’s Bride doesn’t appear in this scene. Or really at any point in the movie. The bride was created for the second Universal movie – and we’re only adapting the novel by Mary Shelley, where she doesn’t actually come to life. So Frankenstein’s Bride, the big castle, Victor’s assistant Igor…I’m afraid all of those elements won’t make it into our adaptation.”

“Besides”, Dr. Bunsen Honeydew, who was standing behind one of the cameras, added, “grammatically speaking, that would make you the Bride of Frankenstein’s Monster, not Frankenstein’s Bride.”

“Yes, alright Mr. Know-It-All? I don’t care.” Piggy replied, visibly upset. “And here I thought that every movie needed a charming female lead!”

“But our movie already has a female lead!”, Gonzo objected. “Camilla is playing Frankenstein’s love interest Elizabeth.”

The chicken in question made an excited “Bawk!” from her makeup chair next to the set. She was dressed in a historic gown and sitting patiently as Uncle Deadly was taking care of her feathers to give them that special shine.

Gonzo gave Camilla a reassuring look, “You look amazing, sweetie!”

Meanwhile, Piggy could care less about the two lovebirds – or the one lovebird and the other…Whatever. She crossed her arms and gave Kermit a demanding look, waiting for proper reconciliation.

Kermit saw this as his second chance. “Oh, you know what? There’s another part later in the movie where the monster observes a family on the countryside – you could be the family’s beautiful daughter in-law! You’d even have a few lines.”

“No!”, Piggy cried out. “I refuse to be cast as some girl on the countryside when there’s a more suitable role waiting for me! Kermie, I’m demanding a proper recast.”

Kermit was surprised. “But we can’t do that, we’ve already shot some scenes and-“

He was at once interrupted my Statler and Waldorf, who were still roaming around the studio in their historic costumes.

“While we’re on the subject of recasting, why don’t you exchange that petty little frog with a proper monster?” Waldorf commented. “This is by far the most horrible version of Frankenstein that I have ever seen. Haha!”

Statler soon joined in with the laughter and then decided to add his own thoughts. “Look at that guy over there!” Statler said, pointing at Uncle Deadly. “That’s a proper monster if you ask me. Dull skin, sharp teeth, a British accent…that stuff’s straight out of nightmares!”

Anybody else would have been offended by Statler’s insult – but Deadly seemed to be flattered by it. “Why, thank you!”

Unsurprisingly, more and more Muppets decided to share their own thoughts regarding the situation. Within seconds, everybody was talking over each other and the chance of finishing today’s shoot on time was completely eradicated. 

Kermit, fully distressed by the absolute mayhem, took a seat next to Scooter’s director’s chair and covered his triangular head with his small hands, wishing that he could simply cease to exist. However, this state lasted only for a few seconds, as Kermit was quickly woken up by Fozzie’s loud voice. The bear had just entered the set and was dressed up in a black cloak, walking towards Gonzo with a fake hunch.

“Master Frankenstein! I, your dear assistant Igor, am here to help!” he cried out with a terrible accent that sounded vaguely European. “Now let’s make that creation….riiiisee up from the dead! Wacka Wacka!”

That final drop in the barrel caused Kermit to break. “Good grief, Fozzie! Did you just listen to ANYTHING I said regarding the original source material?!”

Fozzie paused, then went right back into character and cheerfully replied, “….As a matter of fact, I did not!” His brief “performance” culminated with a failed attempt at an evil laugh.

Meanwhile, the other crew members were still going on with their unnecessary arguments. As a result, Kermit did not want to hear anything of it when the Swedish Chef entered the studio and went up to him.

“Chef, can’t this wait for later?”

“Büt nej! Vilkär ni äter smörgösär mitt kötbüllär?”

”Wait...you made us some snacks?”

“Jag!”

A sigh of relief. “That’s perfect! Thank you, Chef.”

Kermit then raised his voice to address the others. “ALRIGHT EVERYBODY, FOOD’S READY!”

And finally, the chaos ceased to exist. Or, at the very least, it moved towards the food truck outside of the studio.

Personally, Kermit did not mind whether there would anything left for him after he had removed his costume and gotten in line. What mattered was that he could take some minutes off to think of a proper solution to their current problem. Maybe there was a way to partially edit the screenplay – or to actually recast some of the roles.

For now, what the Muppets needed was a break. Well, Kermit certainly did.

**Author's Note:**

> Glad to finally put those literature courses to good use :’D This is my first time writing for the Muppets, so feedback regarding the humour and characterizations would be heavily appreciated.
> 
> Anyhow, thanks for reading the fic. I hope you guys enjoyed it!


End file.
